The Quixotic Gymnastic Drifter

I witness some odd things in my day job. This sight was spotted outside Bolton Magistrates court. People react to cameras in different ways, I've not seen many do this on cue before.

foxy folk faced-ocean colour scene.( so much to few )

I think everybodys after me
They want to know just what I feel
Pushing wires under my nose
Everybody's standing on my toes
Telling the world what i should know

You said you'd seen life from near the floor
You opened every closing door

Thankyou for always being there
All the nights in which we shared
And we know we're always there

If it ever gets you down
You know I'll always be around
Coz too much just aint enough


We - we who are your property
Whose every single move you see
We dont mind your prying eyes
We dont mind all your lies
Or the headlines that you write

(if you cant find something in this song that shakes hands with something inside you, then something other than nothing is something you should be aspiring to)

Apple

She didn't land on anyone's head, wasn't offered to Eve, certainly wasn't a Macintosh, was never bobbed, lived for 3 months and was forbidden to all.

Were you tempted?

The Leafman Prophecies

As im aware, this could be percieved as insanity, perception being the toolbox for reality, weve got a utility belt.
Working for the press can suppress. So were trying to do things a little different. Every year theres certain inevitable stories which will be published from...economic turbulence to freak weather conditions all the way through to footballers behaving badly. It can get pretty mundane capturing the same shot year in year out so as press photographers by trade, its our job to find a new approach to find/make/manipulate a picture to make it feel new,sometimes it works most times it doesnt but its important to exercise the fat obese lazy creative fucker in our heads. some are quite happy with the kid sledging picture every year and will continue to be so until they hang their cameras up. Some people just arent that creative, im not having a go, its just the way it is.
Anyway...in pictures we tried to to show that winter was late...a mundane topic full of climate propaganda created by slow news days,.make of it what you will, we had a laugh doing it and it wasnt just for the papers it was a good form of exorcism and a way of working that beats the shit outta the ordinary press stuff.  Heres to thinking out of the box, or maybe thats what everyone does now, so theirs more space inside the box..
get um out! MERRY CHRISTMAS X

thinspirations everywhere innit

3foot ballons with paper mache on a maiden, normal innit?

leaf collecting looks propper dodgy to dog walkers





some people eh!! sheesh



meet eddie....



bring in the models



voilaaaaaaaa!



bit of the old repress coverage, not as much as we desereved tho....


THE END.......FOR NOW ANYWAY.....



water on the smoke

It doesnt mean anything, yet, but it looks mint!
Innovation has a habit to set you up for pleasant suprises.
We went to price black backdrops up at Calumet...about 60 quid!! the stands were 150 quid!! as we were only doing this shoot for our own curiosity, we used my black tent (its seen more festivals than rolf harris) hung from the light fitting by the guide ropes and lit it from the side with a flash, on a mono pod, jammed between a chair and the settee... we went through about 20 cigs, so i hope the pictures please at least someone as we contracted a terminal illness in the name of Art. Also a massive thankyou to Mick "chubby fuck" wrigley, whos playful, child like, peado curiosities discovered that you can actually blow friggin smoke into a bubble!!

Feel free to insult

Night Terror and Universal Visions

People look peaceful in their own sleeping minds from the outside, but what goes on and when. Sometimes I have some mental lucid dreams that I try to explain once I'm awake but I'm never sure what exactly it was and whether this was just a depiction of memories or what. Baffled by my own minds eye, I don't think I will be finding out yet what it is and why but, these got made as a result of it.

I am also curious about what is out there beyond the stars, I'd love to know. But I don't have a means of transport to get far enough quick enough, so I brought it to me. ish

Faces in places

the city i love

love is blind

When youre NOT getting on with your eachother, when youve been arguing about the ironing or the washing up or the way you looked at her or what you want to watch on tv or how you raised your voice about the way you feel about her best mate or whatever ways you arent seeing eye to eye, REMEMBER why youve chose to be together or the way you used to speak to each other or how everything from the door handle to the melted candle reminds you of her how you CAN be, how you DO laugh, how you WILL go places that open your eyes and make you realise that its not the seeing or the hearing or the touching that counts but the feeling that you know youre both capable of making eachother feel before lifes mundane tasks got involved, sometimes life will get in the way of what  you want and you will have to put needs before desires but make sure you protect that initial feeling that you showed eachother safe from it.. and if all else fails just  "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON".

Real Television???

What is reality TV and what is real TV?

Television is made for entertaining, so if it didn't do this we would all be upset and living in a world a little bit like The Invention Of Lying, with Ricky Gervais in it.

So I'm wondering why this apparently real television we watch pisses me off so much. By real I mean factual programming like the news, the news! I watch it in amazement because its no longer just letting us know whats going on in the world, it tells us with an opinion, no matter how unbiased they tell us they are and with so much excitement and speed collecting the latest opinion of the nearest specialist. I honestly don't give a flying monkeys if people think a bloody octopus can predict the future, and I don't need telling in HD! I also think that it all gets over dramatized because people want things fast and now; lets blame technology for this. Shit just needs to stop being blown completely out of proportion. Over compensating a sad story with sad music, we know its sad, its real, don't try and create an Oscar winning sketch when you're telling me someone's just died. Is this being done for ratings figures? I don't know, I hope not, sometimes the news becomes a parody of itself. 

Then reality television comes in, theres nothing real about it, stupid people who annoy me put on a pedestal and praised or hated by general public. Whether your feelings be mutual to mine or not its just the same because you are giving them attention. Attention that isn't needed. these people then become 'celebrities'; whatever that means nowadays I'm not sure. But these 'celebs' are thrown into the spotlight and were so hungry for it in the first place that they want to stay there for as long as possible. Being a celebrity doesn't make you talented it just means your being seen by people, no matter what you do. Its down to the individual what you do with this new found stardom but I think the pedestal should definitely be shorter if not there at all. The fact that most of these reality television programmes are scripted just shows that these people are not worth the exposure. 

This is where I see a parallel with the news, television slapping a script on what is 'real'. Surely thats not right. Eventually I think actual reality will slowly merge over to what people believe is real on television and nothing will be real. Actual life as we once lived will no longer exist, everyone will have an over-dramatized self awareness but no awareness of self. They will just become the same as the next person and strive for 'celebdom' but 'celebdom' will no longer exist, because that will then be the fucked up reality we all live in.  (Not to be confused with fame.  I believe people who actually have a talent are 'famous' not 'celebs'.) No matter If people think they are effected by this mediation in television viewing, its quite difficult not to be because its everywhere. But unfortunately it sells, and makes money, and isn't that what makes the world go round? I don't see myself as a critic or as someone who even wants to be heard, this is just being written down to learn a little more about myself, in the form of a rant.

Thanks 

tune!!!!

eminem and the boys at their best.

rip proof

lost live slim

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IRONING AD>>?????

Whilst away in edinburgh at the weekend, in a strange but charming little hotel called the "clan campbel" ( which id recommend to anyone!!!...£69 for a night!!! 5 minute walk from the centre!!! breakfast in the morning!!!) i stumbled across an amazing iron!!!! sounds a bit naff but it was...

youre just fans with cameras!!!

Unfortunately its part of my job to stand around outside of hotels, waiting for what some percieve as stars, not my kinda stars, the kind of stars that dont really shine, except in heat, reveal and those kind of superficial...superfecies publications. Today has been a pefect example of this, the saturdays were in town, at the radisson to be exact and it was our job to get pictures, doesnt sound that bad you may say but being surrounded by the kind of people celebrities attract makes it inextricably more difficult, youve got press photographers which are fine,youve got the ones whove been at it for years and know a story when they see/hear/smell one, youve got fans which again arent bad, just obsessive!!! then youve got youre fans with cameras, also known as paps!!The old-school ones are fine, tuned into the real world still, photographed everyone you could think of, infact some of them actually pioneered the industry and then sadly watched its demise due to the over saturation of the fake stars and the new breed of paps (cameras for xmas club).... they claim to be photographers but they dont have a clue how to set a camera up unless its on auto, they have no interest in anything creative and submerge themselves in everything celebrity, all telling stories to eachother about their latest shot of jordan or kerry katona, stories of how many 20 pound pictures theyve got in soaplife or how many 10 grand exclusives theyve got. its a strange existance and its made many of them bitter and twisted, theyre all paranoid and wary of eachother and trust is a word that was dismantled many moons ago. what im trying to say, is theres more to life than profiting off these "stars". more to apsire to, more to be inspired and re-wired by.
i understand that its easy to make money from but dont let it consume you seems to be advice that wasnt given to these lonely souls, celebrity shadows cast by the flashes of the strobes.
i suppose the reason ive written this is because im passionate about photography and i feel offence that the tool i use to try and create is being abused, like a carpenters mallett being plunged into the skull of an unsuspecting but greatful victim.

this is all. have a nice day!

Solitary Confinement Cerebellum

You can't see what I can see but I can see what you see.  I see through my eyes and perceive the world as I was taught at first.  Then I learn, by myself, what I know. 


For all I know though I could be in a 6 by 6 room somewhere with blinkers over my eyes and receptors on my senses, shitting and pissing all over myself.


So do I think this by my own imagination OR have I been far too influenced.  Is knowledge power or ignorance bliss?  If you know too much you could possibly border on insanity.  If you know too little you're a 'mong'.  The average is funny, all those people in between insane and insane, all think the same.


Everyone is capable of anything, hopefully.  These moments to yourself are special, share yourself with you, writing it down, record the thoughts and understand me.


Eventually I will see what I can see. X


N.B. a couple of photos I made I like

MONGREL!!!

Whilst out and about on a zelebrity adventure i came  across a mythical creature, the greek refered to them as centaurs but this was even weirder!!! i was nooooowhere near sellafield and there was no nuclear spillage to my knowledge, i was in the humble town they call prestwich, i couldnt believe my tired eyes as i turned a corner, there it was stood in the middle of the path watching its prey, i quickly raised my camera and managed to get a frame off before desturbing the beast....i bring you femnine, half female half canine!! captured here for the very first time.......

its been a while.........

after a brief break of incubation, i think the ice of doubt is thawing.

weve discovered a website called fotolia, which will be selling our piictures, royalty free.  weve 150 ish topics which the dice will dictate for each of us..........i.e this week it chose "bars" for me, so ive photoing all the bars and pubs in manchester, so our stock images are slowly but surely growing, i think  were aiming at advertising campaigns, so we will be adding quirky pics that hopefully catches the eye.

other than planning how to make some extra money via our photography, weve been carrying on with the press stuff, corrie weddings, nob head footballers and court snatches have again been consuming our time and energy.

ill be going to to edinburgh this weekend, so apart from getting pissed and eating haggis whilst wearing a skirt, ill be adding to stock pics of scotland for you all to look at!!!

anyway i must dash

laters x